Roots

I’ve started drawing again. A few Sundays ago, while mindlessly scrolling through TikTok, I came across a painting video that stirred something deep within me. I won't go into detail about the emotions it sparked, but while it was simply the artist's form of expression, it triggered something in me—a reconnection to a part of myself I had long forgotten. I used to draw a lot, especially in secondary school. That video led to a period of introspection, uncovering memories I had buried beneath the weight of my career-driven self.

I realized that in my quest to finance a wishlist of gadgets and create a perfect creative space—a precursor, I thought, to publicly sharing my creative thoughts—I had lost sight of why that desire mattered in the first place.

But now, I’m remembering. I’ve also noticed how, when things start going well, I tend to relax the strict boundaries I’d once set to protect myself from getting hurt again. Those resolutions existed for a reason: to safeguard my well-being. Letting them slip now would only invite old wounds to reopen. So, with my self-worth intact, I’ve made a new rule: never forget those boundaries.

I’m feeling lighter again. There were moments when I questioned many of my past beliefs, but I’m letting those doubts go. What matters most is my happiness. And I’m happiest when I’m creating and working towards the next goal on my list.

My future self has figured it out. Time will smooth the rough edges of my mind. I’m confident that only better things lie ahead. I know this because who I am now was once the dream of my past self. And just as before, my future self will soon be the fulfillment of the dreams I hold today.